[Clascomment] OPT-IN:Precision measurement of g1 of the proton and the deuteron with 6 GeV electrons

[Daniel Carman]

Yelena et al.,

I have read through the draft of the paper on the g1 moments. My comments below 
are referenced to the paper dated Jan. 14.  Let me know if you have any questions.


				        Regards,

				        Daniel

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General:
 - The term "error" to me implies a mistake. I prefer to use the term "uncertainty".
   I suggest that you replace "error" with "uncertainty" (or "errors" with "uncertainties")
   through this draft (except for the standard term "error bar".

 - You are not consistent with your SI notation. Often you use "gm" for gram, when the
   proper abbreviation is "g".

 - Your data should be included in the CLAS physics database (and likely the journal database).
   I would suggest that you do not include all of the data tables at the end as they needlessly
   take up space.

Page 1:
 - Abstract: Line 4. Use "... using the CEBAF ...".
 - Paragraph 1.
   Line 10. Use "... of the nucleon in the framework ...".

Page 2:
 - Eq. 1. Your opening and closing brackets should be the same size.
 - Eq. 4 should end with a period.

Page 3:
 - Paragraph 4.
   Line 1. I think that you do not mean azimuthal here but polar.

Page 4:
 - Paragraph 1.
   Line 1. I think you mean hours not minutes.
 - Paragraph 2.
   Line 2. Use "... in the CLAS reconstruction ...".
 - Paragraph 4.
   Line 3. Use "magnetic field".
   Line 5. Use "magnetic field".

Page 5:
 - Third bullet.
   Use "... along the beam line ..".
 - Fourth bullet.
   Do you mean azimuthal or polar here?
 - Fifth bullet.
   Line 1. Use "... with the value ... defined by the nearby ...".
   Line 2. I suggest "... within 2 SC paddles." to improve clarity.

Page 7:
 - Subsection G.
   Line 1. Sentence has an awkward construction. I suggest "The ratio of incident charges for the two beam
     helicity states takes into account ... incident current for one state compared to the other.".  

Page 8:
 - Paragraph 2.
   This should not be a new paragraph. Combine with the short first paragraph.
   Line 3. Use "... 1% statistical and <2% systematic.".
 - Third paragraph after Table I.
   Line 1. Use "... missing momentum to obtain ...".
 - Add a period after Eq. 10.

Page 9:
 - Table II caption. l_A should have units of cm.

Page 10:
 - Paragraph 1.
   Line 2. Spurious "and" toward end of line.
 - Subsection 2.
   Paragraph 2. No need to begin a new paragraph here.
   Table III caption. Use "... lengths, l_A, for the 3 run periods ...".
 - Subsection 3.
   Paragraph 1. Line 7. I suggest "... Fermi motion of the proton in the deuteron.".
   Paragraph 2. Line 1. Use "... has a very narrow peak, ...".

Page 12:
 - Line 1. The notation e+/e- in the c_s definition is awkward as this labels particles not yields. What
     about using N_e+/N_e-?
 - Fig. 7 caption.
   Line 1. Use "... of momentum for four bins ...".
   Line 2. Use "... torus and the red points ...".
   Line 3. I suggest adding to the last sentence "(see text for details)" as the curves are present but not
     explained in the caption.
 - Paragraph 3.
   Line 3. Use "... assumption when the positron ...".
 - Add a comma after Eq. 13 and after Eq. 14.

Page 13:
 - Add a period after Eq. 16, a comma after Eq. 17, and period after Eq. 19.
 - Subsection M.
   Line 8. Your notation of tdk/k is awkward. Without explanation it looks like this reduces to td where d is
    not defined in the text.
   Line 14. Use "... incident electron and 4% ...".

Page 14:
 - Put a period after Eq. 20 and after Eq. 21. Add a comma after Eq. 25.

Page 15:
 - Put a period after Eqs 28, 29, and 30.
 - Second line after Eq. 30. Use "... The differences from the world fit ...".
 - Fig. 8 caption. Put reference to WW formula and world data fit on the last line.

Page 16:
 - Paragraph 1.
   Line 4. Spurious comma toward end of line.

Page 17:
 - Last paragraph.
   Line 2. Give reference for Particle Data Book.
   Line 3. Use "... target polarization P_T (unlike the double ...".

Page 18:
 - Subsection 10.
   Line 2. Use "... for the proton and 8.1% for the deuteron.".

Page 19:
 - Paragraph 1.
   Line 5. Use "... for this experiment and 7% for Eg1b).
 - Last paragraph.
   Line 1. Use "... 1.23 GeV can be attributed ...".
   Line 2. Use "The dip can be understood ...".

Page 22:
 - Last paragraph.
   Line 1. Use "... (blue curves) and negative ...".

Page 23:
 - Line 2. Use "... and low x and below at higher x.".

References:
 - Put the references in the order that they are cited in the text.
 - Most of your references do not use the standard reference format. The references should all be
   in the format: Y. Prok {\it et al.}, Phys. Rev. Lett {\bf 100}, 1 (2014).
 - Ref.[15] is missing the year of publication.
 - Ref.[27] has a spurious comma after et al.

Page 27:
 - Table V caption. End the second sentence with a period.