[Clascomment] OPT-IN:Target and Beam-Target Spin Asymmetries in exclusive Ï+ and Ïâ electroproduction with 1.6 to 5.7 GeV elec trons

[bosted at jlab.org]

Aloha Daniel,
   Thanks for your very careful proofreading. I made
all of the suggested changes.
   Yours, Peter

> Peter et al.,
>
> I have read through the draft of your paper on the piN asymmetries and
> include my comments
> below. Let me know if you have any questions.
>
>
> 					        Regards,
>
> 						Daniel
>
> ************************************************************************************
> General:
>  - Throughout you use the words "error" and "errors" when I would prefer
> you use the words
>    "uncertainty" and "uncertainties".
>  - Subsection/subsubsection capitalization is inconsistent throughout. You
> should capitalize the
>    words in these headings, e.g. "Data Processing".
>  - Throughout you use "PhD" when you should use "Ph.D.".
>
> Page 1:
>  - Do not end the title with a period.
>
> Page 2:
>  - Line 24. I suggest "... for both $\pi^+$ and $\pi^-$
> electroproduction.".
>  - Line 25. I suggest "The $\pi^+$ results ...".
>  - End equation (1) with a comma.
>
> Page 3:
>  - Line 40. End the sentence with proper punctuation.
>  - First line after 40. Use "Following the conventions of the MAID group
> [15], the ...".
>  - End equation (3) with a comma.
>  - In the last sets of equations on this page, you should interchange the
> order of the
>    structure function and the phi* term so your notation is consistent
> with your sig_ez form.
>  - epsilon definition - The standard definition for eps has the argument
> of the tangent function
>    of (theta_e/2), and should be written as "\tan^2 (\theta_e/2)".
>
> Page 4:
>  - Line 64. Use "... parameters, $L$ and $l_A$, which ...".
>  - Line 65. Use "Section IV H".
>  - Table I caption. Use "g/cm$^2$" for units.
>
> Page 5:
>  - Line 70. Use "... magnetic field around the target ...".
>  - Line 78. Use "... and a sampling electromagnetic calorimeter.".
>
> Page 6:
>  - Line 101. Spurious "the".
>
> Page 7:
>  - Line 109. Use "... package that transformed ...".
>  - Line 118. Use "... written to skimmed data files for ...".
>  - Line 119. Use "... events that had a reasonable ...".
>  - Line 125. Use "... one-missing-particle topologies ...".
>
> Page 8:
>  - Line 133. Typo on "\67%".
>  - Line 136. Use "... that the track position in the ...".
>  - Line 138. Use "... time-of-arrival at the scintillation counters ...".
>  - Line 141. Do not begin new paragraph here.
>
> Page 9:
>  - Line 161. Use "The topologies ...".
>  - Line 162. Use "... the reconstructed angles of the recoil nucleon. The
> topologies ...".
>  - Line 176. Use "... target, which matches the wings on the ...".
>  - Line 181. Use "... for the two $\pi^-$ topologies in Fig. 2.".
>
> Page 10:
>  - Fig. 1. On the left-hand figure, the caption overlaps the y-axis
> labels.
>
> Page 11:
>  - Fig. 2. On the left-hand figure, the caption overlaps the y-axis
> labels.
>
> Page 14:
>  - Fig. 4 caption. Line 1. Use "... in the predicted and ...".
>
> Page 15:
>  - Table V caption. Use "Cuts on ...".
>  - The sentence "The bin sizes were chosen to be small enough ..." makes
> no sense to me. What
>    are you trying to say here?
>  - Add a comma after equation 5.
>
> Page 16:
>  - Line 254. I do not understand a "rate-weighted average", perhaps you
> mean "luminosity-weighted
>    average"?
>
> Page 17:
>  - Line 259. Use "(see Sec. II).".
>  - Add a comma after equation 17.
>
> Page 18:
>  - Put a comma after your long (unnumbered) equation.
>
> Page 19:
>  - Line 305. Do not start a new paragraph here.
>  - Line 307. Use "... the most difficult for which to get a good fit.".
>  - Line 324. Use "... the dilution factor was less than 0.1, ...".
>
> Page 21:
>  - Fig. 7 caption. Remove commas in both the first and second sentences.
>  - Line 333. Use "The $^{15}$N isotope in the ...".
>  - Line 335. Use "... for the reaction ...".
>
> Page 22:
>  - Fig. 8 caption. Remove comma in second line.
>  - Line 337. Use "... to the reaction ...".
>
> Page 24:
>  - Section L. It wasn't clear until this point in the paper that your eN
> --> epiN data was not a
>    subset of your eN --> epi(N) set. This needs a clear statement early in
> the paper to avoid
>    confusion.
>  - Line 364. Use "... in the dilution factor.".
>
> Page 25:
>  - Line 367. Use "... $ep$ elastic events with a ...".
>  - Table VIII. This table is not referenced in the text. In fact, you
> definitely need a concluding
>    paragraph to this section on systematic uncertainties to state your
> overall scale, where you
>    reference Table VIII, given the different contributing sources.
>
> Page 26:
>  - Line 377. Use "... describes the measured ratios ...".
>  - Line 380. Use "... $\phi^*$ dependence ...".
>  - Line 390. What is meant by "From 6, this translates ..."?
>  - Line 393. End the sentence with a period.
>  - Line 403. Use "$^{15}$N".
>
> Page 27:
>  - Line 409. Use "... the lack of a polarized ...".
>  - Line 427. The statement of "... associated with this pre-print" is not
> proper once this paper is
>    published (when it won't be a pre-print). If the CLAS dB is not a
> sufficient citation for these
>    tables, then give a complete reference to a specific pre-print on the
> archive.
>
> Page 28:
>  - Line 443. Typo on "$Q62$ dependence".
>  - Line 446. Use "... fits are not bad for ..., but are considerably ...".
>  - Line 448. Use "The MAID 2007 fit is not ...".
>
> Page 29:
>  - Line 462. Use "... with the data for ...".
>
> Page 32:
>  - Line 486. Use "... greatly expanding the range ...".
>  - Line 490. Use "... $N^*$ and $\Delta^*$ resonance ...".
>
> Page 34:
>  - Line 503. Use "... JANR source code and L. Tiator for ...".
>
> References:
>  - Include "[CLAS Collaboration}" for Refs. [7], [8], and [12].
>  - Spurious "!" in "J. Wright".
>  - For Refs. [17], [18], [20], and [21], do not include a comma after the
> first author and
>    "{\it et al.}" or between "{\it et al.}" and "[CLAS Collaboration]".
> Also put a comma after
>    the collaboration name and before the journal name.
>  - Ref. [27]. Use "... Phys. Rev. D {\bf 58}, ...".
>