OPT-IN:Target and Beam-Target Spin Asymmetries in exclusive Ï+ and Ïâ electroproduction with 1.6 to 5.7 GeV electrons

[Daniel Carman]

Peter et al.,

I have read through the draft of your paper on the piN asymmetries and include my comments 
below. Let me know if you have any questions.


					        Regards,
						
						Daniel

************************************************************************************
General:
 - Throughout you use the words "error" and "errors" when I would prefer you use the words
   "uncertainty" and "uncertainties".
 - Subsection/subsubsection capitalization is inconsistent throughout. You should capitalize the
   words in these headings, e.g. "Data Processing".
 - Throughout you use "PhD" when you should use "Ph.D.".

Page 1:
 - Do not end the title with a period.

Page 2:
 - Line 24. I suggest "... for both $\pi^+$ and $\pi^-$ electroproduction.".
 - Line 25. I suggest "The $\pi^+$ results ...".
 - End equation (1) with a comma.

Page 3:
 - Line 40. End the sentence with proper punctuation.
 - First line after 40. Use "Following the conventions of the MAID group [15], the ...".
 - End equation (3) with a comma.
 - In the last sets of equations on this page, you should interchange the order of the
   structure function and the phi* term so your notation is consistent with your sig_ez form.
 - epsilon definition - The standard definition for eps has the argument of the tangent function
   of (theta_e/2), and should be written as "\tan^2 (\theta_e/2)".

Page 4:
 - Line 64. Use "... parameters, $L$ and $l_A$, which ...".
 - Line 65. Use "Section IV H".
 - Table I caption. Use "g/cm$^2$" for units.

Page 5:
 - Line 70. Use "... magnetic field around the target ...".
 - Line 78. Use "... and a sampling electromagnetic calorimeter.".

Page 6:
 - Line 101. Spurious "the".

Page 7:
 - Line 109. Use "... package that transformed ...".
 - Line 118. Use "... written to skimmed data files for ...".
 - Line 119. Use "... events that had a reasonable ...".
 - Line 125. Use "... one-missing-particle topologies ...".

Page 8:
 - Line 133. Typo on "\67%".
 - Line 136. Use "... that the track position in the ...".
 - Line 138. Use "... time-of-arrival at the scintillation counters ...".
 - Line 141. Do not begin new paragraph here.

Page 9:
 - Line 161. Use "The topologies ...".
 - Line 162. Use "... the reconstructed angles of the recoil nucleon. The topologies ...".
 - Line 176. Use "... target, which matches the wings on the ...".
 - Line 181. Use "... for the two $\pi^-$ topologies in Fig. 2.".

Page 10:
 - Fig. 1. On the left-hand figure, the caption overlaps the y-axis labels.

Page 11:
 - Fig. 2. On the left-hand figure, the caption overlaps the y-axis labels.

Page 14:
 - Fig. 4 caption. Line 1. Use "... in the predicted and ...".
 
Page 15:
 - Table V caption. Use "Cuts on ...".
 - The sentence "The bin sizes were chosen to be small enough ..." makes no sense to me. What
   are you trying to say here?
 - Add a comma after equation 5.

Page 16:
 - Line 254. I do not understand a "rate-weighted average", perhaps you mean "luminosity-weighted
   average"?

Page 17:
 - Line 259. Use "(see Sec. II).".
 - Add a comma after equation 17.

Page 18:
 - Put a comma after your long (unnumbered) equation.

Page 19:
 - Line 305. Do not start a new paragraph here.
 - Line 307. Use "... the most difficult for which to get a good fit.".
 - Line 324. Use "... the dilution factor was less than 0.1, ...".

Page 21:
 - Fig. 7 caption. Remove commas in both the first and second sentences.
 - Line 333. Use "The $^{15}$N isotope in the ...".
 - Line 335. Use "... for the reaction ...".

Page 22:
 - Fig. 8 caption. Remove comma in second line.
 - Line 337. Use "... to the reaction ...".

Page 24:
 - Section L. It wasn't clear until this point in the paper that your eN --> epiN data was not a
   subset of your eN --> epi(N) set. This needs a clear statement early in the paper to avoid
   confusion.
 - Line 364. Use "... in the dilution factor.".

Page 25:
 - Line 367. Use "... $ep$ elastic events with a ...".
 - Table VIII. This table is not referenced in the text. In fact, you definitely need a concluding
   paragraph to this section on systematic uncertainties to state your overall scale, where you
   reference Table VIII, given the different contributing sources.

Page 26:
 - Line 377. Use "... describes the measured ratios ...".
 - Line 380. Use "... $\phi^*$ dependence ...".
 - Line 390. What is meant by "From 6, this translates ..."?
 - Line 393. End the sentence with a period.
 - Line 403. Use "$^{15}$N".

Page 27:
 - Line 409. Use "... the lack of a polarized ...".
 - Line 427. The statement of "... associated with this pre-print" is not proper once this paper is
   published (when it won't be a pre-print). If the CLAS dB is not a sufficient citation for these
   tables, then give a complete reference to a specific pre-print on the archive.

Page 28:
 - Line 443. Typo on "$Q62$ dependence".
 - Line 446. Use "... fits are not bad for ..., but are considerably ...".
 - Line 448. Use "The MAID 2007 fit is not ...".

Page 29:
 - Line 462. Use "... with the data for ...".

Page 32:
 - Line 486. Use "... greatly expanding the range ...".
 - Line 490. Use "... $N^*$ and $\Delta^*$ resonance ...".

Page 34:
 - Line 503. Use "... JANR source code and L. Tiator for ...".

References:
 - Include "[CLAS Collaboration}" for Refs. [7], [8], and [12].
 - Spurious "!" in "J. Wright".
 - For Refs. [17], [18], [20], and [21], do not include a comma after the first author and
   "{\it et al.}" or between "{\it et al.}" and "[CLAS Collaboration]". Also put a comma after
   the collaboration name and before the journal name.
 - Ref. [27]. Use "... Phys. Rev. D {\bf 58}, ...".