[Clascomment] OPT-IN: Determination of the Proton Spin Structure Functions for 0.05 < Q2 < 5 GeV2 using CLAS

[Daniel Carman]

Robert, Keith et al.,

I have read through the draft of your proton spin structure function paper. Clearly
this work is quite impressive and reflects well on all involved. Below are my comments
from reading through the manuscript. Let me know if you have any questions.


					        Regards,
						
						Daniel

************************************************************************************
General:
 - Use are not fully consistent with energy/mass/momentum units throughout. In several
   places you employed units with c=1, which was not how the bulk of the units were
   presented.
 - In several sections the verb tense is awkward, switching back and forth from present
   tense to past tense. I have tried to catch these instances here. Work completed in the
   past should normally be described in the past tense.

Page 1:
 - Line 20. Use "Collaboration".

Page 2:
 - Line 76. Use "Collaboration".
 - Line 87. Include units on Q2.
 - Line 89. I suggest "...complement those results by ...".

Page 3:
 - Line 192. Use "({\it e.g.} the $D_{13}(1520)$), ...".

Page 4:
 - Line 219. Use "... region), as well as ...".
 - Line 250. Use "Collaboration".
 - Line 273. The magnitude of vector q is the magnitude of the 3-momentum.

Page 7:
 - Line 510. Use "Faraday Cup" for consistency with you usage elsewhere.
 - Line 539. Use "... we determined ...".

Page 8:
 - Fig. 1 caption. Line 3. Use "... stick was inserted.".
 - Line 596. Use "... nuclear spin states ...".
 - Line 619. Use ".. polarization tended ...".
 - Line 625. Ref.[91] should go before the period at the end of the sentence.
 - Line 632. Use "... more details on the ...".

Page 9:
 - Fig. 2. You should indicate the beam direction.
 - Line 669. Use "... CLAS were digitized ...".
 - Line 690. Use "... momentum was selected.".
 - Line 713. Use "... were checked ...".
 - Line 714. Use "... were performed ...".

Page 10:
 - Line 736. Use "Faraday Cup" for consistency with you usage elsewhere.
 - Fig. 4 caption.
   - Line 1. Use "provided".
   - Line 2. Use "was a pseudo ...".
   - Line 4. Use "analyzed".
   - Line 8. Use "partner were removed".
 - Line 767. Typo on "perfluorobutane".
 - Line 770. Use "... separated pions from ...".
 - Footnote 4. Line 3. Use "normalization uncertainty".

Page 11:
 - Line 781. Use "... heights was reduced ...".
 - Line 784. Use "... required a precise ...".
 - Line 787. Use "... CC were the main ...".
 - Line 792. Use "... efficiency was defined ...".
 - Line 795. Use "It varied as ...".

Page 12:
 - Line 801. Use "... zero at the sector edges.".
 - Line 809. Use "... backgrounds was provided ...".
 - Line 811. Use "... deposited far less ...".
 - Line 825. Use "... was applied, ...".
 - Line 850. Use "... we applied no ...".

Page 13:
 - Line 857. Use "... production were identical ...".
 - Line 858. Use "... current was ...".
 - Line 859. Use "... was small enough ...".
 - Line 861. Use "... affected the production ...".
 - Line 881. Use "statistical uncertainty".

Page 14:
 - Line 902. Use "... identified elastic ...".
 - Line 909. Use "kinematic corrections"
 - Fig. 13 caption. Last line. Spurious period in middle of sentence.
 - Line 915. Use "(see Fig. 5)".
 - Line 919. Use "... were corrected for ...".

Page 15:
 - Fig. 14 caption. Line 3. Add units to cut limits. Also use "... was applied as ...".
 - Line 932. Use "kinematic reconstruction".
 - Line 939. Use "The GSIM model was then ...".
 - Line 948. Give scale of the corrections.
 - Line 949. Use "momentum corrections".
 - Line 968. Use "... it was shown to be ...".
 - Line 988. Use "... width of the missing ...".
 - Line 989. Give scale of the corrections.

Page 16:
 - Line 1018. Use "... could affect the measurement ...".
 - Fig. 16. The label on the plot does not match the notation in the caption. Also, I do
   not understand what is plotted here.
 - Line 1051. Use "... was characterized ...".

Page 17:
 - Fig. 17. Include phi key on the plots.
 - Line 1061. Use "... and was calculated ...".
 - Line 1062. Use "... from the radiated ...".

Page 18:
 - Line 1086. Use "(see Fig. 19)".
 - Line 1087. Spurious "and" here.
 - Line 1110. Use "(see Fig. 21)".

Page 19:
 - Fig. 20 caption. Line 3. Use "... used in the analysis, ...".
 - Line 1140. Use "(see Fig. 22)".
 - Fig. 21 caption. Line 5. Use "... by the dilution factors, ...".

Page 20:
 - Line 1173. Use "... was applied to ...".
 - Line 1182. Use "... events were also ...".
 - Line 1183. Use "... was less, due ...".

Page 21:
 - Line 1208. Use "We calculated ...".

Page 22:
 - Line 1309. Use "(see Fig. 25)".

Page 23:
 - Fig. 25 caption. Line 1. Use "... vs. $W$ for each beam ...".
 - Fig. 27 caption. Line 5. Use "systematic uncertainty".
 - Line 1347. Use "... as a function of $x$ ...".

Page 24:
 - Fig. 28 caption. Describe the green band on the plots.
 - Line 1380. Use "... complete list), as well ..."
 - Line 1413. Use "as a systematic variation, ...".
 - Line 1429. Use "section, as well ...".

Page 27:
 - Line 1480. Use "... in particular the $S_{11}$ ...".
 - Fig. 31 caption. Line 5. Use "systematic uncertainty".
 - Line 1506. Include units on W.

Page 28:
 - Fig. 32. On the lower middle plot there is an unwanted connection between the end of
   the green systematic band to the line at x=0,
 - Fig. 32 caption. Line 4. Use "blue dotted line".

Page 29:
 - Fig. 33 caption. Line 1. Use "... vs $Q^2$ for different $x$ ...".
 - Fig. 34. What is the purpose of the plot label "Q2 Shift: 1.0n+1.0"?

Page 30:
 - End eq.(59) with proper punctuation.
 - Line 1593. Use "... for $A_\parallel$ greater than 0.6 ...".
 - Line 1610. Use "$\Gamma_1^p$, is of ...".
 - Line 1613. Use "... is related to the squared ...".
 - Line 35 caption. Last line. Use "systematic uncertainty".
 - Line 1630. Hanging comma before "Ioffe".

Page 31:
 - Fig. 36 caption.
   - Line 4. The bands at the bottom are gray and gold, not gray and green.
   - Line 5. Use "systematic uncertainties".
 - Line 1639. Use "Higher twist".

Page 32:
 - Table III caption.
   - Line 1. Use "$Q^2$ values (column 2) ...".
   - Line 3. Use "... columns 5 and 6 ...".

Page 34:
 - Line 1813. Use "... first resonance region ...".
 - Line 1875. Use "... have improved ...".

References:
 - General: Do not put a comma before "et al.".
 - General: For CLAS Notes, include the URL.
 - [95]: Use "Asryan".
 - [96]: Use "Ph.D. thesis".
 - [100]: Spacing issues in journal name.
 - [106]: Spacing issues in journal name.
 - [115]: Use "E94-010".