[Clascomment] OPT-IN:Measurements of $gamma_{v} p ightarrow p' pi^{+} pi^{-}$ cross section with the CLAS detector for $0.4 GeV^{2} < Q^{2} < 1.0 GeV^2$ and $1.3 GeV < W <1.825 GeV$
Gleb Fedotov
gleb at jlab.org
Mon Mar 5 10:55:03 EST 2018
Dear All,
please find in the attachment our answers to the comments obtained
during the CLAS Collaboration review and the updated paper version.
We also uploaded them to the review page.
Best regards,
Gleb.
On Tue, Feb 13, 2018 at 11:06 AM, Daniel Carman <carman at jlab.org> wrote:
> Dear Gleb et al,
>
> I have read through the draft of your paper on 2pi electroproduction dated
> Feb. 4. The paper from a presentation standpoint is in very good shape. I
> have a number of comments on grammar/english/style for you to work through
> before submission. If you have any questions, let me know. A very nice paper.
>
> Regards,
> Daniel
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> General:
> - Figs. 3, 4, 6, 8, 9, 10, 13, 15: I think that you make the presentation less complete
> when you present these 2D figures in B&W. I strongly recommend that you
> replace these figures with color versions.
>
> Page 1:
> - Title: Use "Measurements of the ..."
> - Note: Throughout the paper you use "$\gamma_{\rm v}$". This really should
> be "$\gamma_v$.
> - Abstract:
> - Line 4. Use "... final hadronic system ...".
> - Line 6. Use "... experiments to date.".
> - Line 9. Use "The data offer promising prospects to improve knowledge on ...".
> - Line 12. Use "During the last several decades, ...".
> - Line 19. Use "... of the extracted observables ...".
> - Line 31. Use "... new data for the full integrated ...".
> - Line 37. "They are also available on GitHub [3]." I do not think that it is appropriate
> to cite data on a private github repository for CLAS. The CLAS physicsdb is
> sufficient and appropriate. I recommend to remove this reference.
> - Line 39. Use "... in $W$), as well ...".
> - Line 40. Use "... statistical uncertainties than were achieved ...".
> - Line 41. Use "... cross sections [4-6].".
> - Line 58. Use "... range, direct comparisons with these data are not straightforward
> and are not shown here.".
> - Line 66. Use "... above the $\Delta(1232).".
> - Line 71. Use "... $Q^2$ binning, which is valuable ...".
> - Line 74. Use "The most common way ...".
>
> Page 2:
> - Line 78. Use "This model, which aims at ...".
> - Line 87. Use "... on the kinematic region), which is a very promising ...".
> - Line 88. Use "... of the resonant ...".
> - Line 91. Use "... within the JM model, ...".
> - Line 97. Use "... were acquired at JLab in Hall~B ...".
> - Line 99. Use "... [1], which consisted ...".
> - Line 101. Use "... Drift Chambers (DC), a {\v C|herenkov ...".
> - Line 102. Use "... a Time-of-Flight ... and a sampling ...".
> - Line 105. Use "... allowed for the determination of their momenta in the DC.".
> - Line 109. Use "... period that lasted from ...".
> - Line 112. Use consistent significant figures on beam energies.
> - Fig. 1 caption. Use "... during the CLAS "e1e" run period.".
> - Line 118. Use "... along the $z$-axis (near the center of CLAS), and ...".
> - Line 123. Use "The target cell had 15-$\mu$m-thick aluminum entrance and exit
> windows. In addition, an aluminum foil was located 2.0~cm downstream of the
> target center.".
> - Line 128. Use "... and served for both the estimation ... of events that originated ...".
> - Line 132. Use "... included runs with the target cell ...".
> - Line 140. Use "Both distributions are normalized to ...".
>
> Page 3:
> - Line 147. Use "... target runs shows two peaks that correspond ...".
> - Line 150. Use "... a cut on the $z$-coordinate of the electron ...".
> - Line 151. Use "... by the two vertical ...".
> - Line 167. Use "... responses were analyzed.".
> - Line 168. Do not begin a new paragraph with this sentence.
> - Line 176. Use "In the next step, a so-called sampling fraction ...".
> - Line 184. Use "... of $P_{e'}$ should be nearly a fixed constant. This constant is
> roughly 1/3, since by the EC design ...".
> - Line 195. Use "... while the other two curves ...".
> - Line 196. Use "... cut that was determined ...".
> - Line 198. Use "... for the experimental data ...".
> - Line 208. Use "As was shown ...".
> - Line 210. Use "... photoelectrons (the so-called ...".
> - Fig. 4 caption. Last line. Use "... that was applied ...".
>
> Page 4:
> - Left column:
> - Line 2. Use "... photoelectrons, shifted the measured CC spectrum towar zero ...".
> - Line 5. Use "... buy a more pronounced ...".
> - Line 214. Use "... denominator corresponds to the ...".
> - Line 223. Use "... As is seen in Fig. 4, ...".
> - Line 225. Use "... sector (shown in white).".
> - Line 230. Use "... originated from the black ...".
> - Line 233. Use "... signals from the inefficient ...".
> - Line 235. Use "... as shown in Fig.~5. This peak in the photoelectron ...".
> - Line 244. Use "... by the function:
> \begin{equation}
> y = ... ,
> \end{equation}
> which is a slightly modified Poisson distribution where ...".
> - Line 250. Use "Finally, the correction factors defined as:
> \begin{equation}
> F_{ph. el.} = ... ,
> \end{equation}
> were applied as a weight for each event that corresponded to the particular PMT."
> - Line 253. Do not begin a new paragraph with this sentence.
> - Line 257. Use "... for a charged particle track, ...".
> - Line 258. Use "... candidate was calculated.".
> - Line 262. Use "... given by:".
> - Eq.(4) should end with a comma not a period.
> - Line 271. Use "... is given for scintillator 34 of CLAS sector 1.".
>
> Page 5:
> - Line 287. Use "... bands in the experimental ...".
> - Line 294. Use "... the reconstructed momentum and ...".
> - Line 296. Use "... effects were of ...".
> - Line 297. Use "... they could not be simulated ...".
> - Line 298. Use "... procedure was needed ...".
> - Line 302. Use "It was shown ... position was shifted from the proton mass value
> and this shift depended on the CLAS sector.".
> - Line 306. Use "... effect depended on the ...".
> - Line 308. Use "... 2.039~GeV, there was a small shift ...".
> - Line 309. Use "... peak position, while Ref. [14] ...".
> - Line 319. Use "... momenta could be neglected.".
> - Line 323. Use "... correction, as well as an ...".
> - Line 332. Use "... due to their interaction ...".
> - Line 336. Use "... and, therefore, the effect ...".
> - Line 339. Use "... shifts in the distributions ...".
> - Line 342. Use "... low-energy protons ...".
>
> Page 6:
> - Line 343. Use "... loss in the materials.".
> - Line 350. Use "... 4$\pi$ [1] as the areas covered ...".
> - Line 353. Use "In addition, the detection ...".
> - Fig. 8 caption:
> - Line 2. Use "... plot shows the ...".
> - Line 5. Use "... curves show the applied ...".
> - Line 365. Use "For these particles, sector ...".
> - Line 368. Use "... as a function of the angles ...".
> - Line 372. Use "... cuts that select ...".
> - Fig. 9 caption:
> - Line 2. Use "... plot shows the ...".
> - Line 5. Use "... curves show the applied ...".
> - Line 376. Use "... cuts were the best ...".
> - Line 386. Use "... areas were typically caused ...".
> - Line 391. Use "... were different for each CLAS sector.".
> - Line 395. Use "... run, variations of the experimental conditions, e.g. fluctuations
> in the target density or changes in the response of parts of the detector, ...".
>
> Page 7:
> - Line 398. Use "Only the parts ...".
> - Line 401. Use "... per Faraday Cup (FC) charge ...".
> - Line 408. Use "The DAQ live time ...".
> - Line 412. Use "... is shown as a function of the DAQ live time and the yields ...".
> - Line 419. Use "... two final state hadrons ...".
> - Line 421. Use "... can be reconstructed using ...".
> - Line 423. Use "... between four different event topologies depending on the ...".
> - Line 425. Use "... final state hadrons ($X$ is the undetected particle):"
> - Fig. 11 caption:
> - Line 1. Use "... of blocks as a function of DAQ ...".
> - Line 2. Use "... and the yields ...".
> - Line 4. Use "... lines show the applied cuts.".
> - Line 431. Use "... conditions, topology 1 ...".
> - Line 434. Use "... among the other ...".
>
> Page 8:
> - Fig. 12 caption:
> - Line 2. Use "... for the four event topologies ...".
> - Line 5. Use "... while the curves are from the simulation. The plot shows the ...".
> - Line 450. Use "cannot".
> - Line 455. Use "... and the absence of ...".
> - Line 461. Use "... 50\%), but also to ...".
> - Line 469. Use "... final state hadrons, ... four-momenta of the initial state ...".
> - Line 475. Use "... final state particles.".
> - Line 479. Use "... curves show the simulation. The plots in Fig. 12 represent
> topologies ...".
>
> Page 9:
> - Line 498. Use "... calculations, experimental events ...".
> - Line 501. Use "... simulation, the reconstructed .... subject to the same summation.".
> - Line 506. Use "... final state hadrons were known ...".
> - Line 513. Use "... sections were obtained ...".
> - Line 527. Use "... final state hadrons ...".
> - Line 534. Use "... final state hadron description ...".
> - Line 537. Use "... pair of hadrons ...".
> - Line 539. Use "... pair of hadrons ...".
> - Line 542. Use "... between the two plans (i) defined by the ... and the first
> final state hadron and (ii) defined by the three-momenta of all final state
> hadrons ...".
> - Line 564. Use "... encompasses about 1.2 million ...".
> - Line 567. Use "... final state hadron ...".
> - Line 571. Use "... 1.22~GeV, as well as ...".
> - Line 574. Use "Special attention was required for ..."
>
> Page 10:
> - Table I caption. Use "... final state hadron ..."
> - Line 582. Use "... $M_{upper}$ was calculated ...".
> - Line 607. Use "... extracting the cross sections, the event yield was divided .."
> - Line 608. Use "... width $\Delta M$, thus ...".
> - Line 612. Use "... data were not sufficient ...".
> - Line 616. Use "... which was different ...".
> - Line 620. Use "In addition to the above ...".
> - Line 622. Use "... variable was assigned ...".
> - Line 624. Use "... behavior, the ... size caused ...".
> - Line 627. Use "... applied that included ...".
> - Line 628. Use "... to 4\% for some ...".
>
> Page 11:
> - Line 634. Use "... of this paper) ...".
> - Line 635. Use "... $\sigma_e$ via:"
> - Eq.(9) should end with a period.
> - Line 636. Use "Here $d^5\tau$ is ...".
> - Line 637. Use "... state that were described in Sec. IV A.".
> - Line 638. Use "... photon flux given by"
> - Eq.(11) should end with a period.".
> - Line 643. Use "Here $\nu = ...".
> - Line 651. Use "... event was weighted ...".
> - Line 660. Use "... hydrogen, and $N_A ...".
> - Line 664. Use "... simulation and $R ...".
> - Line 683. GENEV needs a reference.
> - Line 691. Use "... approach in Ref.~[15].".
> - Line 694. Use "... procedures. The efficiency ... was then calculated in ...".
> - Line 702. Use "... and increased up to a few ...".
>
> Page 12:
> - Fig. 15 caption. Line 2. Use "... unertainty vs. efficiency.".
> - Line 710. Use "cannot".
> - Line 712. Use "... along with the other ...".
> - Line 714. Use "... and, therefore, some model ...".
> - Line 725. Use "Additionally, the efficiency in some ...".
> - Line 726. Use "... due to boundary effects, ...".
> - Line 729. Use "These cells could be differentiated from the cells with reliable
> efficiency by their larger relative ...".
> - Line 737. Use "As is seen in ...".
> - Line 740. Use "... efficiency was obtained ...".
> - Line 752. Use "... 22], as well as ...".
> - Line 753. Use "... and, therefore, provides ...".
> - Line 755. Use ".. describes in detail the approach ...".
> - Line 760. Use "... to the case when the ...".
> - Line 761. Use "... cells was ignored, and ...".
> - Line 762. Use "... for the case when the empty cells were taken into account ...".
> - Line 763. Use "The black curves represent the TWOPEG cross sections that were ...".
> - Line 766. Use "... from the empty cells ...".
> - Line 770. Use "... due to the negligible/zero CLAS acceptance in these regions.".
> - Line 776. Use "... total statistical uncertainty, as was done in Refs.~[6,22].".
> - Line 780. Use "... using the TWOPEG ...".
> - Line 781. Use "... [21], which accounts ...".
> - Line 783. Use "... known approach of Ref.~[15].".
> - Line 785. Use "... cross sections from the non-radiative cross sections.".
> - Line 787. Use "... in TWOPEG, the double-pion ...".
> - Line 790. Use "... electron (the so-called ...".
> - Line 792. Use "In Refs.~[15,21] the ...".
>
> Page 13:
> - Fig. 16 caption:
> - Line 1. Use "... for the cases when the contribution ...".
> - Line 2. Use "... when it was taken into ...".
> - Line 3. Use "... while the latter are with the ...".
> - Line 814. Use "... final state hadron ...".
> - Line 817. Use "... final state hadron ...".
>
> Page 14:
> - Fig. 17 caption. Line 1. Use "The quantity $1/R$ (see Eq.(15)) as ...".
> - Line 848. Use "... of the efficiency,".
> - Line 850. Use "... by Eqs.~(16) and (17) ...".
> - Line 857. Use "... sections, the total ...".
> - Line 876. Use "... as uncertainties in the electron registration ...".
> - Line 882. Use "... were summed up in ...".
> - Line 883. Use "... alternative method considers ...".
> - Line 889. Use "... includes the uncertainties due to ...".
>
> Page 15:
> - Fig. 18 caption:
> - Line 1. Use "... shadowed area for each point is the total cross section ...".
> - Line 3. Use "... the total systematic uncertainty. The error ...".
> - Line 4. Use "... curves are the cross section prediction ... dashed curves
> correspond ..."
> - Line 916. Use "... extracted integrated cross ...".
> - Line 917. Use "... are shown by the black circles ...".
> - Line 918. Use "... shadowed areas correspond ...".
> - Line 921. Use "... systematic uncertainty."
>
> Page 16:
> - Fig. 19 caption:
> - Line 2. Use "... curves are the cross section ...".
> - Line 3. Use "... dashed curves correspond ...".
> - Line 935. Use "... due to the high ...".
> - Line 942. Use "... sections. This model aims at ...".
> - Line 947. Use "... results is based on the JM model estimations of ...".
> - Line 949. Use "... differential), as well as ...".
> - Line 955. Use "... sections was obtained ...".
> - Line 957. Use "This generator employs the ...".
>
> Page 17:
> - Line 962. Use "... of the model ...".
> - Line 975. Use "... for the integrated ...".
> - Fig. 20 caption:
> - Line 2. Use "... integrated double-pion ...".
> - Line 3. Use "... details). The different symbols ...".
> - Line 982 (and following). Use the updated PDG format for listing resonances,
> e.g $P_{11}(1440)$ --> $N(1440)1/2^+$.
> - Line 987. Use "... data on the $Q^2$-dependences of the resonance ...".
> - Line 988. Use "Additionally, the states ...".
> - Line 992. Use "... values of their electrocouplings ...".
> - Line 1004. Use "... for the integrated ...".
> - Line 1007. Use "These contributions were obtained as the ratio of ...".
> - Line 1011. Use "... with increasing $W$ and $Q^2$, consistent with ...".
> - Line 1012. Use "... 1.5~GeV, this contribution ...".
> - Line 1023. Use "... extracted integrated ...".
> - Line 1024. Use "... [4], which were obtained with a ...".
> - Line 1035. Use "... two in Ref. [4], the map of the empty cells ...".
> - Line 1039. Use "... binning in the hadron ...".
> - Line 1043. Use "CONCLUSIONS AND OUTLOOK".
> - Line 1044. Use "... on integrated and ...".
> - Line 1047. Use "The results are a significant improvement over previously ...
> in this kinematic region due to the extension in the $W$ coverage and due
> to the increased statistics, thereby ...".
>
> Page 18:
> - Fig. 21 caption.
> - Line 2. Use "... and statistical uncertainties) ...".
> - Line 3. Use "... for the results from Ref. [4] ("e1c"), it is ...".
> - Line 1052. Use "... in the CLAS physics ...".
> - Line 1073. Use "... acceptance, in this way achieving a very ...".
> - Line 1088. Use "... contribution that grows ...".
> - Line 1091. Use "... extraction of the resonance electrocouplings.".
>
> Page 19:
> - Line 1133. Use "... from the other sets of variables are ...".
> - Line 1135. Use "... between the two planes A ...".
> - Line 1138. Use "... all final state hadrons.".
> - Line 1140. Use "... the c.m.s. their ...".
> - Fig. 22 caption:
> - Line 2. Use "... final state hadrons ...".
> - Line 3. Use "... of the $\pi^-$ and ...".
> - Line 4. Use "... of the auxiliary ...".
> - Line 1146. Use "... along the $z$-axis.".
> - Line 1149. Use "... plane B. The angle between the two planes ...".
> - Right Column:
> - Line 8. Use "... and in the case of ...".
> - Line 1161. Use "... to see that ...".
> - Line 1163. Use "... about the kinematics of the reactions ...".
>
> References:
> - Give URL for all CLAS-Notes.
> - You do not need to include arXiv listings for already published papers.
> - [2], [3]. You have an extra space before the period.
> - [15]. Use "... Rev. Mod. Phys. ...".
> - [22]. Use "... to be published ...".
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