[Clascomment] OPT-IN:Measurement of Nuclear Transparency Ratios for Protons and Neutrons

Daniel Carman carman at jlab.org
Sun Sep 30 10:39:05 EDT 2018


Dear SRC folks,

I have read through your draft of your latest short range correlation paper and
include my comments below. Most of what I have provided below will serve to improve
the grammar and readability of the paper. If you have any questions, let me know.

Regards,
Daniel
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General:
 - You are not consistent with your verb tenses throughout. In general, you should be
   writing in the past tense when describing your analysis. I have tried to capture this
   below.

Page 1:
 - Left column:
   - Paragraph 1.
     - Line 19. Use "... calculations of nuclear reactions.".
   - Paragraph 3.
     - Line 34. Use "Here $A$ represents ...".
     - Line 35. You do not mention the tin target here but mention it on the next page as one of your
       solid targets. The reader might wonder why this important point between iron and lead was
       apparently available but the results not quoted.
 - Right column:
   - Paragraph 1.
     - Line 43. Here is the only place in the paper where you are not consistent with speed of light
        units.
   - Paragraph 2.
     - Line 62. Use "... where $A$ is the ...". 
   - Paragraph 3.
     - Line 70. Spurious space between "project" and "[3]".

Page 2:
 - Left column:
   - Paragraph 1.
     - Line 72. Use "... in Hall~B at JLab."
     - Line 73. Use "... beam, and a dedicated ...".
   - Paragraph 2.
     - Line 78. Use "CLAS consisted of a ...".
     - Line 83. Use "... acceptance was ...".
     - Line 84. Use "... acceptance was ...".
   - Paragraph 3.
     - Line 95. Use "beamline".
   - Paragraph 4.
     - Line 103. Use "... CC with deposited energy in the ...".
     - Line 104. Use "... EC that were correlated ...".
 - Right column:
   - Paragraph 1.
     - Line 131. Use "... that were within ...".
   - Paragraph 3.
     - Line 171. Use "... it was shifted ...".
     - Line 173. Use "... this included selection ...".
     - Line 178. Use "... we required that the missing momentum was high ...".

Page 3:
 - Fig. 1 caption:
   - Line 2. Use "... and systematic uncertainties, ...".
   - Line 4. Use "... Refs. [8-11].".
 - Left column:
   - Paragraph 1.
     - Line 186. Use "... that made use only ...".
     - Line 190. Use "... cuts was chosen ...".
 - Right column:
   - Paragraph 2.
     - Line 211. Use "... efficiency was as ...".
     - Line 212. Use "... events was minimal.".
     - Line 213. Use "... cuts was about ...".
   - Paragraph 3.
     - Line 218. Use "... then extracted the ...".
     - Line 220. Use "... ratios were defined ...".

Page 4:
 - Left column:
   - Paragraph 1.
     - Line 221. Use "... yield was normalized ...".
     - Line 227. Use "beamline".
     - Line 228. Use "numerator".
     - Line 229. Use "... were observed to be similar ...".
   - Paragraph 2.
     - Line 235. Use "... 6\% for the Al/C ...".
     - Line 236. Use "... Pb/C ratios, respectively, ...".
   - Paragraph 3.
     - Line 239. Use "... in which \#N is ...".
     - Line 241. Use "... $(e,e'n)$), $K= ...".
     - Line 244. Use "... which defines the probability ...".
   - Paragraph 4.
     - Second line. Use "... with $A$ nucleons ...".
     - Line 250. Use "... for $A$ and $C$ are integrated ...".
 - Right column:
   - Paragraph 1.
     - Line 258. Use "... dE$ and was calculated following [12].".
     - Line 265. Use "... $k_F$ = 221, 260, 260, and 260 (280)~MeV ...".
   - Paragraph 2.
     - First line. Use "... kinematics were extracted ...".
     - Line 276. Use "... in nuclei $A$ and $C$.".
     - Line 277. Use "... of world data ...".

Page 5:
 - Left column:
   - Paragraph 2.
     - Line 292. Use "... to the $np$-dominance ...".
     - Line 298. Use "... and statistical summed ...".
   - Paragraph 3.
     - Line 300. Use "Figure 2 shows the transparency ratios averaged ...".
     - Line 318. Use "... which indicates a surface dominance of on measured nuclei, just as for
       neutron-rich nuclei like lead."
 - Right column:
   - Table III and Table IV.
      - Column headings. Use "$(e,e'p)$" and "$(e,e'n)$".
   - Paragraph 1.
     - Line 325. Use "Both the proton and ...".
     - Line 327. Use "... experimental uncertainties, ...".
     - Line 328. Use "The $A$-dependence ...".

References:
 - Put references in the order cited in the paper.
 - [7]. Use "(CLAS Collaboration)".
 - [11]. Do not include preprint number for published paper.
 - [18] and [19] are the same.
 - [28]. Problem with spacing in erratum.
 - [30]. Use "submitted".


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