[Clascomment] OPT-IN: Probing the core of the strong nuclear interaction

[Daniel Carman]

Dear SRC folks,

I have read through your draft of your latest short range correlation paper and include my editorial
comments below. However, I my main sense after reading this paper is that it will not be understandable
by too many folks. It is written by experts for experts. I struggled to gain much meaning from what was
presented and why it was important. Most of the Extended Material is so arcane and detailed, I am not
sure what to make of it. Also, the main points/results of this paper are awfully subtle in their presentation.
I am concerned the Nature editors will take a similar view. Perhaps you might consider working with someone
who is not so close to the material, maybe even an undergraduate at your University, who can give you feedback
on a level of the generally educated typical reader of Nature.

If you have any questions, let me know.

Regards,
Daniel
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General:
 - Be consistent with notation for "NN". Sometimes you write it in normal font and sometimes in italics.
 - In all cases in your paper the "respectively" should be set off by commas.
 - On page 1 you mention the Generalized Contact Formalism, but without any description or discussion.
   It is essential to say a few words about what this formalism is about in general terms. Why is this
   approach considered, what does it include, what does "generalized" mean, what does "contact" mean?
   You include more detail in your Extended Material, but you need a few sentences when you first
   introduce this formalism as your whole paper and comparison to data centers on this approach.
 - Sometimes you have Q2 in normal font and sometimes in italics. Be consistent throughout.
 - In your figure captions you use the term "systematical uncertainties". Use "systematic uncertainties" for
   consistency throughout.
 - In the Extended Materials, you are not consistent with capitalization of the section headings.

Page 1:
 - Left column.
   - Paragraph 1
     - Line 5. Use "... gluons, which are described ...".
     - Line 6. Use "... (QCD), cannot be ...".
     - Line 9. Use "inter-nucleon".
     - Line 16. Use "... high-momentum configurations ...".
     - Line 24. Use "... cutoff scale, while ...".
 - Right column.
   - Here you introduce the names of the different NN potentials, but you don't elaborate on what they are
      about until several pages later. This does not help the reader to follow along, especially as they are faced
      with Fig. 1 before they know anything about your NN potentials.
   - Paragraph 1.
     - Line 1. Define "EFT".
   - Paragraph 6.
     - Line 1. The sentence "When pmiss > kF, ..." should not begin a new paragraph.

Page 2:
 - Fig. 1.
   - Right plot. The y-axis is not clearly labeled and the caption is not clear. Are these raw yield ratios, normalized
     yield ratios, or something else. Also on x-axis, put a space between pmiss and its units.
   - Caption.
      - Lines 3,4. Use "vs.".
      - Line 8. Here you use "c.m.", elsewhere you use "CM".
 - Right column.
   - Paragraph 2.
     - Line 4. Use "... 60% of the transferred momentum ...".

Page 4:
 - Left column.
   - Paragraph 4.
     - Line 4. Use "(see Fig. 3)".
 - Right column.
   - Paragraph 1.
     - Line 2. Perhaps point to "Fig. 1b" instead of "Fig. 1".

Page 5:
 - References.
   - Refs. [1], [7], [16] should end with a period.   

Page 6:
 - References.
   - Ref. [21] is not a CLAS Collaboration paper.
 - CLAS Detector and Particle Identification section.
   - Line 1. I suggest "CLAS was a 6-sector toroidal spectrometer [21] that was decommissioned in 2012.
     Each sector was equipped ...".
   - Line 2. Use "... Cerenkov counters, and ...".
   - Line 3. Use "... counters covered in-plane ...".
   - Line 4. Use "... calorimeters covered ... collectively offered ...".
   - Line 5. Use "... particles interacted in ... as they bent due ...".
   - Line 7. Use "... momenta were determined ...".
   - Line 9. Use "Electrons were ..."
   - Line 11. Use "Protons were ...". This sentence should not begin a new paragraph.
 - GCF Model section.
   - Line 1. Use "... are detailed in Refs. [10-12 ...".

Page 7:
 - Lines about Eq. 3. Here you label spin with both uppercase S and lowercase s. Be consistent in your notation.
 - Middle of page. Do not begin a new paragraph with "Integrating the decay function ...".
 - Bullet #1. Use "Nuclear contact values".
 - Bullet #2.
   - Use "... pair 1-2 with quantum numbers ...".
   - Use "... Refs. [10,11]".
   - Here you reference Fig. 1(a) and Fig. 1(b). You should say that these are the Extended Material Figs. 1 to
     avoid confusion with the Fig. 1 in the main article.
 - GCF Event Generator, FSI and SCX corrections section.
   - In title, add a comma after "FSI".
   - The sentence "The generator generates ..." should not begin a new paragraph.
   - Add a comma after Eq. 7.

Page 8:
 - Line 1. Use "where p12 ...".
 - Third bullet. Use "Smear the generated electron ...".
 - After bullet list. Use "... following Refs. [17,19] ...".
 - After Eq. 9. I suggest "... factors are applied event weights to account for SCX ...".
 - Last paragraph of top section.
   - Line 2. Use "... such that particles with (without) square brackets are the ones ...".
   - Line 3. Use "... in an np pair undergoes ...".
   - Line 4. Use "... that no proton undergoes ...".
 - Model parameters and systematic uncertainties section.
   - Bullet #1. Momentum units should be MeV/c.
   - Bullet #3. Use "nuclear transparency".

Page 9:
 - Last bullet. Use "The off-shell ...".
 - Measurement kinematics and reaction mechanism effects section
   - Paragraph 1.
     - Line 6. Use "... FSIs), and (4) ...".
   - Paragraph 3.
     - Line 6. Use "Therefore, FSI predominantly ...".
   - Paragraph 5.
     - Line 2. Use "... knockout interactions.".
   - Paragraph 6.
     - This paragraph should be part of the previous paragraph.
 - Tests of contribution from non-QE reaction mechanisms section.
   - Line 4. Use "We performed several ...".
   - Point (1).
     - Line 3. Use "... 56 (Fe), and 208 ... xB, Q2, and angle between the ...".

Page 10.
 - Point (4).
   - Line 3. Use "... Extended Data Figs. 8 and 9 ...".
   - Line 4. Use "(see Fig. 8)".
   - Line 5. Use "(see Fig. 9)".
 - Point (5).
  - Line 1. Use "... of the measured and simulated (e,e'p) ..."
 - Initial Nucleon Energy section.
   - Here you reference Fig. 4 but it should be Fig. 3.
 - Scaler Limit Estimation section.
   - Here you reference Fig. 1, but perhaps you should reference Fig. 1a.
 - Cutoff Dependence of Local Chiral interactions section.
   - Line 2. Use "AV18" for consistency of notation.

Page 11.
 - Line 2. Use "... interaction results in ...".
 - Line 3. Use "... momenta, the N2LO(1.2 fm)-based calculation ...".
 - Non-Local Chiral interactions section.
   - Paragraph 2.
     - Line 2. Use "... available in the two-nucleon ...".
   - Paragraph 3.
     - Line 1. Use "... using the GFC framework ...".
     - Line 2. What is meant by spin-1 and spin-0 contact? Use "Refs. [13,14]".
   - Paragraph 4.
     - This should be part of the previous paragraph.
   - Paragraph 5.
     - Line 1. Use "Future studies will focus ...".
     - Line 2. Use "... Refs. [13,14] ...".
 - Additional References section.
   - [32] should end in a period.
   - [43] has problems with superscript throughout.

Page 12.
 - [45], [46] have problem with superscripts.
 - [49] should end in a period.

Page 13.
 - Author Contributions section.
   - Line 2. Use "... of the detector, and data ...".
   - Line 6. Use "... and performed the model ...".
   - Line 7. Use "... N.B., and L.B.W. ...".
 - Author List section.
   - Given addresses are incomplete.

Fig. 2 caption. Line 3. Use "... black lines represent detected ...".

Fig. 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 - The axis labels and axis values have too small a font size to be readable.

Fig. 3 caption. Lines 2 and 3. Use ", and ".

Fig. 4 caption. Line 4. Use ", and 208 ...".

Fig. 7 caption. Line 3. Use "... band shows the ...".

Figs. 10, 11. The subfigures need to be labeled. Also, what are the differences between the left two plots
 in each figure. They have identical axis labels and legends.

Fig. 10 caption. Line 4. Use "... events, as well as ...".

Fig. 11 caption. Line 2. Use "Same as Figs. 2 and 3, ...".

Table 1. The caption needs to explain what is meant by the different column headings.