[Clascomment] OPT-IN: New scaling measurements map the transition from single-particle to correlated-pair dominance in atomic nuclei

[Daniel Carman]

Dear Or and the SRC folks,

I have read through the draft of your paper on SRC measurements that is intended for
publication in the journal Nature. I do not have substantive comments on the physics.
However, I do have some comments on grammar/style to try to improve the presentation
a bit. If you have any questions, let me know.

Regards,
Daniel
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General:
 - You are not consistent with your use of hyphens throughout the manuscript. Examples
   of usage issues include "cross section" vs. "cross-section", "liquid deuterium" vs.
   "liquid-deuterium". Better to omit hyphen usage than to use them haphazardly. I also
   notice "wave function" and "wave-function".
 - You sometimes capitalize element names and you sometimes do not. Examples include
   "carbon" vs. "Carbon", "aluminum" vs. "Aluminum", etc. In general, you should not
   capitalize element names (unless they are the first word in a sentence).
 - In some cases you include the mass number with an element and in some cases you do not.
   Please be consistent in your usage.
 - Units should be kept with their values and not split across lines. To do this in latex,
   use a "~" to force the connection, i.e. 1.5~GeV.


Page 1:
 - Line 5. Use "... such as element production via ...".
 - Line 6. Use "... nucleosynthesis, which is determined by the ...".
 - Line 15. No hyphen involved with "ly" modifiers; use "strongly interacting".
 - Line 50. Use "... low-energy, many-body, long-ranged ...".
 - Line 53. Use "long-range".

Page 2:
 - Line 90. Use "... to deuterium, which extends ...".
 - Line 92. Use "... we isolated the SRC ...".
 - Line 94. Extra space between $k_F$ and the period should be removed.
 - Line 138. Here you use QF (quasi-free) and everywhere else you use QE (quasi-elastic).
   Be consistent with your terminology and do not introduce extract jargon when it is
   not necessary and can confuse the reader.
 - Fig. 1. Include units on y-axis width.
 - Fig. 1 caption. Line 3. Use "The red curve and error ...".
 - Fig. 1 caption. Line 7. Use "The data error bars and the calculation error ...".
 - Line 151. Use "... SRC pairs that make the cross-section ...".
 - Line 159. Use "... $x_B$, and the minimal initial nucleon momentum, also ...".

Page 3:
 - Fig. 2 caption. Line 1. Do not capitalize "Scaling".
 - Fig. 2 caption. Line 3. Use "... iron (c), and lead ...".
 - Fig. 2 caption. Line 7. Use "... lines show the ...".
 - Fig. 2 caption. Line 10. Use "... confidence level.".
 - Fig. 2 caption. line 11. Use "... (Pb) are not shown.".
 - Line 172. Wrong units on Q2.
 - Line 197. Use "... we follow Refs. [5,30] ...".
 - Line 205. Use "... inelastic events as QE and excluded some QE events.".
 - Line 206. Use "These contributions offset each other ...".
 - Line 217. Add a comma after the inline equation.
 - Fig. 3 caption. Line 8. Use "... 68\% confidence level.".
 - Fig. 3 caption. Line 9. Use "... 10\% are not shown.".

Page 4:
 - Fig. 4 caption. Line 3. Use "... in carbon, respectively, ...".
 - Fig. 4 caption. Line 5. Use "Overall systematic uncertainties of 10\% are not shown.".
 - Fig. 4 caption. Line 6. No open symbols here, only closed. Just drop the word "open".
 - Fig. 4 caption. Line 7. Again, drop the word "open".
 - Line 225. Use "... in Refs. [29,33,34].".
 - Line 228. Use "... distribution, $\sigma_{CM}$, and ...".
 - Line 230. Use "... were determined from fits to the data.".
 - Line 232. Use "... 160 - 210~MeV/c and ...".
 - Line 243. Use "... relative to deuterium for ...".
 - Line 274. No comma after "Schmookler".

Page 5:
 - Line 315. Need a reference here for the AV18 potential.

Refs:
 - Some issues with references [30], [37], [38]. Replace "(e, e-prime)" with proper formatting
   "$(e,e')$".
 - Ref. [35]. Use "Geant".
 - I would ask that you include collaboration names in the references, especially "CLAS Collaboration"
   for all collaboration papers.

Page 6:
 - Line 482. Use "U.S.".

Page 8:
 - Line 537. Use "... scintillation counters extended ...".
 - Line 554. Use "... and close to 100\%.".
 - Line 557. Use "liquid-deuterium".
 - Line 616. Use "... not sensitive to the specific ...".
 - Line 627. Use "... ratios were extracted ...".

Page 9:
 - Line 641. Use "liquid-deuterium".
 - Line 660. Use "liquid-deuterium".
 - Line 687. Use "... shown in Extended Data Fig. 6(a).". 
 - Line 689. Use "... the cross-section ratio acceptance-correction ...".
 - Line 690. Use "... (see Extended Data Fig. 6).".
 - Line 697. Use "... as implemented in Ref. [33].
 - Line 701. Use "As part of the modified ...".
 - Line 707. Use "Al".
 - Line 708. Do not begin a new paragraph with the final sentence.
 - Line 715. Use "... exiting from the nucleus ...".
 - Line 727. Use "... Fe, and Pb, respectively.".

Page 10:
 - Line 748. Need a reference for the UX model (and UX should not be in math mode).
 - Line 752. Use "... Fe, and Pb ...".
 - Line 754. Use "... with the AV18 two-nucleon ...".
 - Line 755. Use "... using a pair CM motion ...".
 - Line 758. Use "... taken from Ref. [10].".
 - Lines 769, 801. Use consistent capitalization with the other underlines paragraph
   headers.
 - Line 771. Spurious "the" here.
 - Line 810. Use "... between the total ...".

Page 11:
 - Table I. Speed of light "c" in units should be in roman font. Here there are 3 places where
   it is in math mode.

Page 12:
 - ED Fig. 1 caption. Line 1. Use "vs.".
 - ED Fig. 1 caption. Line 2. Spurious "for".
 - ED Fig. 1 caption. Line 2. Use "... (bottom left), and Pb ...".

Page 13:
 - ED Fig. 2 caption. Line 2. Use "vs." (not versus) for consistent usage.

Page 14:
 - ED Fig. 3 caption. Line 1. Inconsistent capitalization of bold text.
 - ED Fig. 3 caption. Line 2. Use "... Fe, and Pb ...".
 - ED Fig. 3 caption. Line 4. Use "... 68\% confidence level.".
 - ED Fig. 3 caption. Line 5. Use "... of 10\% are not shown.".
 - ED Fig. 4 caption. Line 1. Inconsistent capitalization of bold text.
 - ED Fig. 4 caption. Line 2. Use "... (middle), and Pb ...".
 - ED Fig. 4 caption. Line 4. Use "... systematic uncertainties of 10\% are not shown.".
 - ED Fig. 5 caption. Line 2. Use "The black points correspond to the nominal ...".
 - ED Fig. 5 caption. Line 3. Use "... 5$^\circ$, respectively, and ...".

Page 15:
 - ED Fig. 6 caption. Line 1. Inconsistent capitalization of bold text.
 - ED Fig. 6 caption. Line 1. Use "... from the solid ...".
 - ED Fig. 6 caption. Line 3. Use "The points show ...".
 - ED Fig. 6 caption. Line 1. Inconsistent capitalization of bold text.
 - ED Fig. 6 caption. Line 2. Use "... iron, and (d) lead.".