[Clascomment] OPT-IN: Dihadron Azimuthal Correlations in Deep-Inelastic Scattering Off Nuclear Targets

[Daniel Carman]

Dear Sebouh et al.,

I have read through the draft of your paper on dihadron azimuthal correlations in deep
inelastic scattering off nuclear targets. I include my comments below. Good luck with
your path to publication.

If you have any questions, let me know.

Regards,
Daniel
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General:
 - You should generally use verbs in their past tense throughout. In some sections you use present
   tense. I have flagged these occurrences below.
 - Keep units with their values so that they do not split across line breaks. To do this use a
   "~" to connect them, e.g. 0.44~GeV.

Page 1:
 - Line 10. Use "... event generators ...".
 - Line 11. Use ".. phase space.".
 - Line 52. Use "... {\it e.g.} Refs. [13-16].".
 - Line 55. Use "... final state, $N_{e'\pi^+\pi^-}(\Delta \phi)$ refers ...".
 - Line 61. Use "... $C_0$, is applied ...".
 - Line 68. Use "... direction and $E_h$ its energy.".

Page 2:
 - Line 77. Use "... and deuterium, respectively) ...".
 - Lines 90-91. These lines do not belong here. Seems to be left-overs from editing.
 - Line 93. Use "... chambers and the time-of-flight (TOF) system with ...".
 - Line 98. Use "... and calorimeter coordinate measurements ...".
 - Line 105. Use "... we required ...".
 - Line 106. Use "... we required ...".
 - Line 107. Use "... $30^\circ < \theta < 40^\circ$, and $p > 350$~MeV ...".
 - Line 109. Here you use the term "in-bending" but you have not explained this to the reader.
 - Line 111. Use "... aims to define a smoothly varying acceptance ...".
 - Line 114. Use "The trigger system selected ...".
 - Line 120. Use "... target rest frame and $E$ is ...".
 - Line 122. Use "We selected ...".
 - Line 124. Use "We then measured ...".
 - Line 128. Use "... we required ...".
 - Line 130. Use "We also required ...".
 - Line 134. Use "... targets were selected ...".
 - Line 136. Use "... resolution ensured negligible ...".
 - Line 138. Use "... with a leading $\pi^+$ ...".
 - Line 139. Use "and Pb, respectively.".
 - Line 140. Use "... targets were, respectively, ...".
 - Line 149. Use "... $i^{th}$ bin and $N_{e'\pi^+}$ is ...".
 - Footnote 2:
   - Line 5. Use "This allows the knocked-out protons to have ... than the pions for a given $\nu$.".

Page 3:
 - Line 152. Use "15-$\mu$m-thick".
 - Line 155. Use "... from Refs. [9,11].".
 - Line 160. Use "... we assumed ...".
 - Line 172. Use "... the number of mixed events in each bin $N_{e'\pi^+\pi^-}^{i,{\rm mixed}}$ in ...".
 - Footnote 5:
   - Line 1. Use "We used deuterium ...".
   - Line 3. Use ".. depend on the type of ...".
 - Line 183. Use "... measurements, respectively.".
 - Line 197. This is the first mention of CLAS and it is too late in the paper. I recommend that you
   add a statement that the measurements were carried out with the CLAS spectrometer (and give the year
   and possibly the name of the dataset). Also reference the B.A. Mecking CLAS paper at that point.

Page 4:
 - Line 212. Your approach for estimating particle mis-identification based on Monte Carlo is
   only reliable if your Monte Carlo TOF timing resolution matches the TOF resolution seen in
   the data. You did not discuss how well your simulation matches the data response.
 - Line 219. Use "... in deuterium by ...".
 - Line 220. Use "... per pion in the nuclear targets ...".
 - Line 250. Use "... three particles were reconstructed ...".
 - Line 257. Use "... method that we used for ...".
 - Line 268. Use "... event that have similar ...".

Page 5:
 - Line 305. Use "Finite Bin Width".
 - Line 306. Use "... systematic uncertainty for ...".
 - Line 311. Use "... unbinned distributions, ...".
 - Line 319. Use "... width of the distribution ...".
 - Line 323. Use "Since we did not ...".
 - Line 324. Use "... we took as our ...".
 - Line 344. Use "... this systematic uncertainty is ...".
 - Line 354. Use "... functions, respectively, and ...".

Page 6:
 - Footnote 6:
   - Line 2. Use "... as a function of $\vert \Delta \phi \vert$ in ...".
   - Line 3. Use "... we show this as a function of $\Delta \phi$, ranging ...".
   - Line 4. Use "... and shifting the points at ...".
 - Line 406. Use "... of Fig.~1, which shows ...".
 - Line 409. Use "... which accounts for ...".
 - Line 415. Use "... [29] that used an independent ...".
 - Figure 1 caption:
   - Line 4. Use "... from the GIBUU model, shown ...".
   - Line 6. Use "... simulation. The inner error bars indicate ...".
   - Line 7. Use "... extent of the error bars reflects ...".

Page 7:
 - Table I. Capitalize the column headings.
 - Table I. Use "Time-dependent effects".
 - Table I caption. Line 2. Use "... systematic uncertainties between ...".
 - Table II. Capitalize the column headings.
 - Table II. Use "Time-dependent effects".
 - Line 429. Use "... functions for nuclei relative ...".

Page 8:
 - Figure 2 caption:
   - Line 3. Use "The inner error bars represent ...".
   - Line 5. Use "... extent of the error bars shows the ...".
   - Line 7. Use "... from the GIBUU (red), ...".
 - Line 462. Use "cross section".
 - Line 468. Use "DPMJET~[36]".
 - Line 469. Use "PyQM~[37]".
 - Line 472. Use "... based on the proton-target data ...".
 - Line 485. Do not begin a new paragraph with this sentence. Make part of previous paragraph.
 - Footnote 7:
   - Line 1. Use "... these model calculations ...".
   - Line 2. End the footnote with a period for proper punctuation.

Page 9:
 - Figure 3 caption:
   - Line 1. Use "Top row: Correlation functions ...".
   - Line 2. Use "The inner error bars represent ... vertical extent of the error bars ...".
   - Line 4. Use "Bottom: Ratios of the ...".
 - Line 519. Use "... within one standard deviation ($1\sigma$) for all bins ...".
 - Line 524. Use "... width on $p_1^T$ than ...".
 - Line 529. Use "... the uncertainty on $b$.".
 - Line 530. Use "... positive slope of ...".

Page 10:
 - Figure 4 caption:
   - Line 2. Use "... eHIJING, and BeAGLE ... Bottom row: Same for ...".

Page 11:
 - Figure 5 caption:
   - Line 1. Use "Top row: Correlation functions ...".
   - Line 2. Use "The inner error bars represent ...".
   - Line 3. Use "... extent of the error bars represents ...".
   - Line 4. Use "Bottom: Ratios of the ...".
 - Line 590. Use "... or future JLab upgrades [42], ...".
 - Line 595. Use "... Pb targets, at larger luminosity, higher beam energy, and with polarized beams.".

Page 12:
 - Figure 6 caption:
   - Line 2. Use "... eHIJING, and BeAGLE ... Bottom row: Same for ...".

Page 13:
 - Figure 7 caption:
   - Line 1. Use "Top row: Correlation functions ...".
   - Line 2. Use "The inner error bars represent ...".
   - Line 3. Use "... extent of the error bars represents ...".
   - Line 4. Use "Bottom: Ratios of the ...".

Page 14:
 - Figure 8 caption:
   - Line 2. Use "... eHIJING, and BeAGLE ... Bottom row: Same for ...".

Page 15:
 - References:
   - Do not include arXiv information for published papers.
   - Inconsistent capitalization of titles. Please review.
   - [4]. Formatting problem with particle types.

Page 16:
 - References:
   - [29]. Use "... in the context of Ref. [30], ...".
   - [33]. Capitalize PYTHIA.
   - [40]. This is CLAS Collaboration paper. Also, fix the title that you have a problem with.
   - [41]. This is now published as PPNP 127, 103985 (2022).
   - [42]. This has been accepted by EPJA.
 - Line 806. Use "Appendix A: Tabulations of our Measurements".
 - Line 810. Use "... first uncertainty is statistical and the second is systematic.".

Page 22:
 - Table XI caption:
    Line 2. Use "... the top panels of Figs. 2, 4, 6, and 8.".

Page 23:
 - Table XII caption:
    Line 2. Use "... of Figs. 2, 4, 6, and 8.".

Page 24:
 - Line 813. Properly capitalize Appendix B heading.
 - Line 818. Use "... event generators.".
 - Figure 9 caption.
   - Line 1. Use "... correlation functions to those calculated by ...".
 - Figure 10 caption.
   - Line 1. Use "... correlation functions to those calculated by ...".

Page 25:
 - Figure 11 caption.
   - Line 1. Use "... to those calculated by ...".

Page 26:
 - Figure 12 caption.
   - Line 1. Use "... to those calculated by ...".

Page 27:
 - Figure 13 caption.
   - Line 1. Use "... to those calculated by ...".

Page 28:
 - Figure 14 caption.
   - Line 1. Use "... to those calculated by ...".

Page 29:
 - Figure 15 caption.
   - Line 1. Use "... to those calculated by ...".

Page 30:
 - Figure 16 caption.
   - Line 1. Use "... to those calculated by ...".