[Clascomment] OPT-IN: Proton Transparency and Neutrino Physics: New methods and Modeling

[Daniel Carman]

Steve, Larry, et al.,

I have read through the draft of your proton transparency paper based on the e2a data
from CLAS. I am not all that knowledgeable about the physics but hopefully my comments
here will help to improve the paper a bit. Let me know if you have any questions.

					        Regards,						
						Daniel

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Page 1:
 - General: You have been consistent in the text with speed of light units. However, in
   all of the figures with momentum, you have units of "GeV". Please be consistent with
   your notation throughout.
 - You are not consistent throughout with your use (or not) of the so-called "Oxford comma"
   in your lists. I have flagged all of these at the end of my page 1 comments.
 - Title. Capitalize "Methods".
 - Author list. For some reason, only Dr. Weinstein's first name is given in full.
 - Institution list. Use "... Tel Aviv, 69979 Israel".
 - Line 18. Use "... measurements that determined ...".
 - Line 26. What do you mean by "nuclear effects"? Kind of a vague terminology for the first
   sentence in your paper.
 - Line 54. Use "... efficiency estimations.".
 - Line 58. Use "... models that can contribute ...".
 - Line 63. Use "... [11,12], which measures ...".
 - Oxford commas, add a comma before the and in a list:
  - pp. 2 line 112
  - pp. 2 line 118
  - pp. 3 line 180
  - pp. 4 line 295
  - pp. 5 Fig. 3 caption lines 4 and 6
  - pp. 6 Fig. 6 caption line 5
  - pp. 11 line 496
  - pp. 11 Fig. 10 caption line 2
  - pp. 12 line 570
  - pp. 13 line 637
  - pp. 18 line 973
  - pp. 19 Fig. 18 caption line 4
 - Through you use "vs" as an abbreviation for versus and you should use "vs.". 

Page 2:
 - Line 90. Use "... larger cross sections.".
 - Line 8 after line 98. Add a comma after p_miss equation.
 - Line 12 after line 98. Use "... was compared to a ...".
 - Eq.(1). End with a comma for proper punctuation.
 - Line 3 after Eq.(1). Use "... function that describes ...".
 - Line 106. To keep units and their values from separating due to line breaks, put a "tilde"
   between them, e.g. 80~MeV.
 - Line 115. Use "... component of the initial ...".

Page 3:
 - Line 159. Use "... events was corrected ...".
 - Line 162. Use "... events was corrected ...".
 - Line 166. Use "... correction was calculated ...".
 - Line 192. Use "The sectors were ...".
 - Line 193. Your definition of Sector 1 is not correct. Sector 1 is located on beam left centered
   at the 9 o'clock position looking downstream. There was not a sector at the top of CLAS, there
   was a torus cryostat. Please revisit your statements.
 - Line 220. Do not include Ref. [32] here as you used it on line 217. Once is enough.
 - Line 222. Use "... and with a relativistic Fermi Gas ...". (Note typo on "relativistic".)
 - Line 233. Use "... model as an LFG model for the studies in this work.".

Page 4:
 - Fig. 1. Use "The correlation between $p_p$ and $\theta_e$ for ...".
 - Section III. Cutting on the number of photons for CLAS analysis is worrisome as spurious photons
   PID can be assigned based on the algorithm. What selection criteria did you apply to your photon
   definition?
 - Line 274. Use "particle identification".
 - Line 276. Keep the reference number from splitting across lines using "Ref.~[28]".
 - Line 282. Consistently capitalize all words in the section headings here and elsewhere.
 - Line 291. Opening quotation mark is not the proper one.
 - Line 322. Use "Figure 5 shows ...".

Page 5:
 - Line 332. Use "Figure 6 shows ...".
 - Line 339. Use "Figure 7 shows ...".
 - Line 342. Use "... lower $p_p$ that is due ...".
 - Fig. 3 caption. Line 5. Use "... reaction channels: QE (blue) ...".
 - Line 347. Use "... by Monte Carlo (MC) even ...".

Page 6:
 - Line 359. Use ".. the CLAS GEANT3 simulation [28].".
 - Fig. 6 caption. Line 4. Use "... reaction channels: QE (blue) ...".
 - Fig. 6 caption. Line 5. Use "... (purple). The vertical lines denote the ...".

Page 8:
 - Line 396. Use "$ep$ to $en$".
 - Line 411. Use "... the transparency, which is a ...".
 - Line 417. Use "... basis was used as ...".
 - Line 424. Opening quotation mark is not the proper one.
 - Line 457. Use "Following Ref. [14], we ...".

Page 9:
 - Line 463. Use "... account for uncertainties in the model. The assumed uncertainties are
   small because ...".
 - Line 476. Use "$\pm 2^\circ$".
 - Line 487. Use "The statistical uncertainty is ...".
 - Line 488. Use "... angle ranges and significant for ...".
 - Line 489. Use "The systematic uncertainties ...".
 - Line 490. Use "... iron even for range 1 ...".
 - Line 491. Use "... where the statistics are excellent.".

Page 10:
 - Table VI caption. Line 1. Use "... to the final transparencies ...
 - Table VI caption. Line 2. Use "The SRC corrections ...".
 - Table VII has a different style from all of your other tables. Please make uniform.
 - Table VII. Capitalize all column headings.
 - Table VII caption. Line 2. Use "... (Stat), systematic uncertainties ...".
 - Table VII caption. Line 3. use "... and the total uncertainty added ...".

Page 11:
 - Line 509. Use "We compare the data ...".

Page 12:
 - Line 554. Use "... proton momenta.".
 - Line 559. Use "... models that often ...".
 - Line 581. Use "... correlations that reduced the number ...".

Page 13:
 - Fig. 14 caption. Lines 4, 5, 6. Use plurals for all of you symbol listings, e.g. "circles".
 - Line 639. Use "... at proton momenta ...".

Page 14:
 - Line 650. Use "accelerator-based".
 - Line 666. Use "... nucleon momenta larger ...".
 - Line 673. Use "... treatment that is based ...".
 - Line 676. Use "... [52] that decreases ...".
 - Line 701. Use "... a test that focuses on ...".

Page 15:
 - Line 754. Use "As noted in Section V A, there is ...".
 - Add a comma after Eq.(5) for proper punctuation.
 - Line 784. No comma before "and iron range".
 - Line 786. Use "overpredicts".
 - Line 787. Use "... iron data, while the carbon ...".

Page 16:
 - Fig. 16. Line 3. Missing beam energy units.

Page 17:
 - Line 850. Use "... high proton momenta, the ...".
 - Line 883. Use "... such as the stepping ...".

Page 18:
 - Increase spacing after line 951.

Page 19:
 - Fig. 18 caption. Lines 1 and 3. Do not capitalize "range".
 - Fig. 19 caption. Lines 1 and 3. Do not capitalize "range".
 - Ref. [27]. Use "B.A. Mecking et al., Nucl. ...".
 - Ref. [28]. Use "e4$\nu$" as Collaboration name.

Page 20:
 - Figs. 20, 21, 22. Increase font size for keys on right of plots.
 - Ref. [40]. Use "SAID".
 - General bibliography style. Why do you include preprint numbers for published papers? Also
   why do you list preprint numbers for some papers and not others?
 - You do not include Collaboration names with a consistent style.
 - Why does Ref. [45] include a URL? This is the only one.