<div><div><div dir="ltr">Dear Lamiaa,<div><br></div><div dir="auto">Thank you for your invaluable comments regarding the paper draft and further considerations when submitting the paper to PRL. I am working on your comments, I shall be back with you on it shortly. </div><div><br></div><div>With best regards,</div><div>Taisiya</div><div dir="auto"><br></div></div></div></div><div><div><br><div class="gmail_quote"><div dir="ltr" class="gmail_attr">On Wed, May 17, 2023 at 9:31 PM Lamiaa El Fassi <<a href="mailto:elfassi@jlab.org" target="_blank">elfassi@jlab.org</a>> wrote:<br></div><blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin:0px 0px 0px 0.8ex;border-left:1px solid rgb(204,204,204);padding-left:1ex">First, I would like to congratulate Taisiya and the lead authors for the approval of these interesting results and I wish you all the best with the collaboration-wide review as well as the PRL submission. <br>
Probably, you have already received some overlapping comments from other collaborators, so I apologize for the intended duplication but I want to make sure I conveyed all notes as there is no way to see what others shared at this level. I hope you will find the comments helpful to polish the manuscript. <br>
By the way, one main issue I faced is related to the removal of line numbers in this review round, which makes comments quite difficult. <br>
<br>
General comments:<br>
<br>
Author list: Please write all authors with their publication names: T.~Mineeva, W.K. Brooks...., J.A. Lopez...<br>
(P.S.: If accepted in PRL, you will be asked to provide the zip codes for all institutions listed in the manuscript, so you may work on that from now on if you want to) <br>
<br>
- Please make sure to be consistent with the verb tense used throughout the manuscript and don't switch back and forth between present and past tenses. You may avoid that e.g. by using the passive voice to refer to what happened in the past for some instances. <br>
<br>
- Please avoid using the speaker pronouns (we, our...) as that can be avoided by using the passive voice. This should be applied everywhere in this manuscript except for the abstract and acknowledgment section if needed. <br>
<br>
- Regardless of the nice review of theoretical models included in the paper, the results of Fig. 2 and Fig. 3 are presented without any theoretical curves, even GiBUU is not considered here. Thus, I wonder why? <br>
P.S.: Based on my PRL lambda paper experience, the external reviewers asked to include more theoretical predictions of the results, similar to the published charged pions results, and just because of the complication of developing new models of lambda production channel and the time needed for it, we were able to convince the PRL referees that is not feasible for the timeline of the current publication. In this spirit, as mentioned above, I am also curious to know why no theoretical curves are included in these results. <br>
<br>
- Please define your acronyms and kinematic variables at the first use. <br>
<br>
- I believe you will have to remove the sections titles before submitting the paper to PRL as I don't think this is the current standard PRL format if I am not mistaken (at least titles were not used in the CLAS lambda paper and we were not asked to add them!)<br>
<br>
- PRL is accepting supplemental material, thus I suggest that you produce one similar e.g. to the lambda PRL paper in which you will include all \pi^0 invariant mass distributions, results for various kinematical bins, description of particle ID, background subtraction of \pi^0 invariant mass, corrections, systematic studies and their tables as well as tabulated twofold and threefold results of figures 2 and 3. Referring to the thesis which some of its results have been updated/changed during the advanced analysis review stages is not enough. <br>
<br>
Specific Comments: <br>
<br>
In the abstract: <br>
1) You may consider hyphenating "deep-inelastic" everywhere in this manuscript (this is how it was adopted in the lambda paper). <br>
<br>
2) We tend to name the virtual photon energy as the "energy transfer $\nu$", as you did later in the 2nd paragraph of the intro., and $z$ as the "energy fraction" of the leading hadron. Please make sure to distinguish between the two kinematical variables to avoid any confusion. <br>
<br>
3) You may need to consider defining $p_T^2$, similarly to what has been done to $z$, at the first use. You may consider writing e.g. in the 5th sentence: "....and momentum transverse squared ($p_T^2$) is....."<br>
<br>
4) In the first sentence you wrote threefold without a hyphen thus "twofold" may need to be written also without a hyphen here and wherever it applies in this manuscript. <br>
<br>
Intro First paragraph: <br>
1) "....and most recently has been described with a relativistic ....."<br>
<br>
2) We tend to use "$x$" or "$x_B$" to denote the Bjorken scaling variable, thus it might be preferable to use one of these two in this paper. Also, you may at least name the variable here "...at high Bjorken scaling variable "$x_B$"...." and leave its full definition on the second intro. paragraph, or you may move ", where "$x_B$" is the fraction of the proton momentum carried by the struck quark," to the end of the 1st paragraph and remove it from the 2nd paragraph. <br>
<br>
Intro 2nd paragraph: <br>
1) "....lepton deep-inelastic scattering at high "$x_B$"..."<br>
<br>
2) In the definition of $\nu$ both $E$ and $E'$, the energy of the incoming and outgoing electrons, need to be defined. The other option is to remove the $\nu$ expression from here completely and keep it till after Eq. 1 since you are duplicating the definition of $\nu$ there. <br>
<br>
Intro 3rd paragraph: <br>
1) I suggest after Eq. 1 to change "Here.." with "where..." without capitalizing "w" and put a comma by the end of Eq. 1 to have good punctuation for equations as well. <br>
<br>
2) "... in semi-inclusive deep-inelastic scattering (SIDIS) events, which, following the virtual photon scattering off the quark,...." <br>
P.S.: The electron scatters off the target nucleus and exchanges the virtual phone that scatters off the quark as e-s don't penetrate the nucleus to say they scatter off the quark, isn't it? <br>
<br>
3) "$Q^2$ is the virtual photon four-momentum transfer squared..." <br>
<br>
4) $\nu$, see my previous comment about $\nu$ definition and its duplication in the intro. 2nd paragraph<br>
<br>
5) "In the absence of any nuclear effects, this observable is equal to unity."<br>
<br>
Intro 4th paragraph: <br>
1) EMC and CLAS need to be defined at first use in the first sentence where facilities are mentioned. <br>
<br>
2) "A comprehensive review can be found in Ref.~[30]."<br>
<br>
Experimental Setup & Data Analysis: <br>
1st paragraph:<br>
1) CLAS was decommissioned as a spectrometer so it's better to use the passive voice when referring to its components instead of the present tense since it doesn't exist anymore. <br>
<br>
2nd paragraph:<br>
1) "...a 2-cm-long liquid-deuterium target ..." <br>
P.S.: Either use liquid deuterium target or deuterium cryo-target but not both as the two terms "liquid" and "cryo" refer to the same thing. <br>
<br>
3rd paragraph:<br>
1) "The SIDIS reaction $ e + A -> ...$ is measured, where...."<br>
2) "..., events with one scattered electron and at least two photons were selected."<br>
<br>
2) The $y$ cut is used in our studies based on previous HERMES results and thus it's better to explicitly state that to support its usage by saying for example "...to reduce the size of radiative effects on the extracted multiplicity ratios based on the HERMES studies [<add HERMES references here>]." (you may see the references that were used in lambda paper for that).<br>
<br>
3) You are already using $x_B$ as I previously suggested so please unify your notations throughout the paper. <br>
<br>
4th paragraph: <br>
1) "Electrons are selected by requiring...." <br>
Please do the same to all other sentences starting with "We..." in this paragraph. <br>
<br>
2) Since similar electron ID cuts have been used and published in several EG2 papers, I suggest adding those publications by the end of this paragraph to facilitate the external PRL review and strengthen the paper case in this regard. The suggested papers are listed below in Bibtex format. <br>
<br>
@article{ElFassi:2012,<br>
author = "El Fassi, L. and others",<br>
title = "{Evidence for the onset of color transparency in $\rho^0$<br>
electroproduction off nuclei}",<br>
collaboration = "CLAS",<br>
journal = "Phys. Lett. B",<br>
volume = "712",<br>
year = "2012",<br>
pages = "326-330",<br>
doi = "10.1016/j.physletb.2012.05.019"<br>
}<br>
<br>
@article{Hen_2013,<br>
doi = {10.1016/j.physletb.2013.04.011},<br>
title={Measurement of transparency ratios for protons from short-range correlated pairs},<br>
year = 2013,<br>
month = {may},<br>
publisher = {Elsevier {BV}},<br>
volume = {722},<br>
number = {1-3},<br>
pages = {63--68},<br>
author = {O. Hen et al.}, <br>
journal = {Phys. Lett. B}<br>
}<br>
<br>
@article{Schmookler:2019,<br>
author = "Schmookler, B. and others",<br>
collaboration = "CLAS",<br>
title = "{Modified structure of protons and neutrons in correlated pairs}",<br>
eprint = "2004.12065",<br>
archivePrefix = "arXiv",<br>
doi = "10.1038/s41586-019-0925-9",<br>
journal = "Nature",<br>
volume = "566",<br>
number = "7744",<br>
pages = "354--358",<br>
year = "2019"<br>
}<br>
<br>
@article{Moran:2022,<br>
title = {Measurement of charged-pion production in deep-inelastic scattering off nuclei with the {CLAS} detector},<br>
author = {Mor\'an, S. and Dupr\'e, R. and Hakobyan, H. and Arratia, M. and Brooks, W.K. and B\'orquez, A. and El~Alaoui, A. and El~Fassi, L. and Hafidi, K. and Mendez, R. and Mineeva, T. and Paul, S.J. and others},<br>
collaboration = {CLAS Collaboration},<br>
journal = {Phys. Rev. C},<br>
volume = {105},<br>
issue = {1},<br>
pages = {015201},<br>
year = {2022},<br>
publisher = {American Physical Society},<br>
doi = {10.1103/PhysRevC.105.015201},<br>
}<br>
<br>
@article{PhysRevLett.130.142301,<br>
title = {First Measurement of $\mathrm{\ensuremath{\Lambda}}$ Electroproduction off Nuclei in the Current and Target Fragmentation Regions},<br>
author = {Chetry, T. and El Fassi, L. and others},<br>
collaboration = {CLAS Collaboration},<br>
journal = {Phys. Rev. Lett.},<br>
volume = {130},<br>
pages = {142301},<br>
year = {2023},<br>
month = {Apr},<br>
publisher = {American Physical Society},<br>
doi = {10.1103/PhysRevLett.130.142301}<br>
}<br>
<br>
5th paragraph: <br>
1) Similarly, please use the passive voice in all sentences starting with "We..." in this paragraph too. <br>
<br>
6th paragraph: <br>
1) Similarly, please use the passive voice in all sentences starting with "We..." in this paragraph too. <br>
<br>
2) Figure 1: Label, use "(GeV)" in both left and right plots. Caption: The mass has a unit, so, please use it when referring to ranges, etc, "...first on the range 0.03 GeV< $M_{γγ}$ < 0.26 GeV....". May I suggest substituting (-5\sigma, +5 \sigma) with $\pm 5\sigma$ as "...and then on the range of $\pm 5\sigma$ as indicated..."<br>
<br>
3) "...event mixing technique can be found in Ref.~[34]." The reference to supplemental material, as suggested above, can be added here too. <br>
<br>
Corrections: <br>
3rd paragraph: <br>
<br>
1) The same comment about "We.." sentences in this paragraph.<br>
<br>
2) "The ratio of acceptance correction factors for the electron number ratio; i.e., deuterium to solid target, varies from a fraction of percent up to +8\%, while for the $\pi^0$ number ratio; i.e., solid to deuterium target,....."<br>
<br>
Results and Discussion:<br>
1st paragraph: <br>
1)"...threefold...."<br>
2)"...From Fig. 3, no effective dependence on energy and momentum transfer to the system is observed, i.e.,....measurement. However, the $Q^2$ and $\nu$ ranges in this study are much less...." <br>
<br>
2nd paragraph: <br>
1) "Figure 2 shows...."! Figure is written in full at the beginning of a sentence and abbreviated as Fig. in the middle of it. <br>
<br>
3rd paragraph: <br>
1) The suppression with $z$ is not observed only for the charged pions but also for the lambda baryon from the same CLAS EG2 dataset, thus a statement about that as well as its reference should be included here. <br>
<br>
2) GiBUU (Giessen Boltzmann-Uehling-Uhlenbec) acronym should be defined. <br>
<br>
3) Use "the Fermilab E665 experiment [45]" while referring to Ref. [45] measurement. <br>
<br>
Conclusions: <br>
1st paragraph: <br>
1) "In this paper, the first differential $\pi^0$ multiplicity ratios produced in SIDIS off D, C, Fe, and Pb with a 5.014~GeV electron beam and measured with the CLAS detector are presented." <br>
<br>
2) Last paragraph: The diquark speculation was also reported in the CLAS lambda PRl paper, so please refer to it too in addition to Ref.~[47] while talking about diquark correlations in baryon formation.<br>
<br>
References:<br>
<br>
1) Use (HERMES Collaboration), (CLAS Collaboration), (European Muon Collaboration), and (E665 Collaboration) for all related references.<br>
<br>
2) Ref. [33]: H.~Hakobyan and W.K. Brooks {\it et al.},....<br>
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