[jlab-9hgl 00551] Top Ten Caddy Tips

[David Griffith]

Anyone you know?

#10 
Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake." 
Caddie: "Think you can keep your head down that long?" 

#9 
Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course." 
Caddie: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth." 

#8 
Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?" 
Caddie: "Yes, you miss the ball much closer now." 

#7 
Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?" 
Caddie: "Eventually." 

#6 
Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world." 
Caddie: "I don't think so. That would be too much of a coincidence." 

#5 
Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time. 
It's too much of a distraction." 
Caddie: "It's not a watch - it's a compass." 

#4 
Golfer: "How do you like my game?" 
Caddie: "Very good, but personally, I prefer golf." 

#3 
Golfer: "Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday? 
Caddie: "The way you play, it's a sin on any day." 

#2 
Golfer: "This is the worst course I've ever played on." 
Caddie: "This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago." 

#1 Best Caddie Comment: 
Golfer: "That can't be my ball, it's too old." 
Caddie: "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir." 

And a fan favorite....is the one about the golfer who had been slicing off the tee at every hole. 
He finally gives up and asks his long suffering caddie if he has seen any obvious problems? The caddie replies: 
"There's a piece of crap on the end of your club." 

The golfer picks up his club and cleans the face of it......when the caddie says: "No the other end!!!"