OPT-IN:First Study of the Nuclear Response to Fast Hadrons via Angular Correlations between Pions and Slow Protons in Electron–Nucleus Scattering

[Daniel Carman]

Dear Sebouh et al.,

I have read through the draft of your paper on the nuclear response to fast hadrons in eA
scattering. I include my comments below. Good luck with your path to publication.

If you have any questions, let me know.

Regards,
Daniel
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General:
 - Please provide the supplemental material that is referenced as part of this paper. This should
   be made available as part of this review. I will read it and provide comments.

Page 1:
 - Remove "Version 5" after the title.

Page 2:
 - Line 74. Use "The CLAS detector [25] was based on ...".
 - Line 75. Use "... which defined six ...".
 - Line 83. Use "... made negatively charged particles ...".

Page 3:
 - The definition of $\Delta \phi$ in line 130 is out of place and makes the flow awkward. I
   suggest that you move this text until after Eq.(2). I suggest moving it to line 143 where
   you should use "... a leading $\pi^+$, and $\Delta \phi \equiv \phi_\pi - \phi_p$ is the
   azimuthal separation between the pion and proton, as defined around the momentum-transfer
   axis.".
 - Add a comma after Eq.(2) for proper punctuation.
 - Line 147. Use "($\pi/8$ and 0.5, respectively)".
 - Line 150. Use "... using Monte Carlo (MC) simulations.".
 - Add a comma after Eq.(3) for proper punctuation.
 - Line 160. Typo on "where".
 - Line 178. No period after Section heading.

Page 4:
 - Line 199. Use "although" (though is a colloquialism).
 - Line 208. Use "Figure 2" (starting a sentence - no abbreviations).
 - Line 283. Use "It incorporates nuclear parton distribution functions (PDFs) ..." and
   remove the reintroduction of the definition on line 360.

Page 5:
 - Table 1 caption. Line 3. Use "... systematic uncertainties ...".

Page 6:
 - The key that is randomly located in the fourth row is not appropriate. Incorporate this into
   the caption.
 - Caption Line 1. Use "... within each panel and different ...".

Page 7:
 - Line 316. Use "... which increase as a function ...".
 - Line 360. Use "... modifications to PDFs, fragmentation, ..." (see earlier comment re: PDFs).
 - Line 374. Use "... study that used an ...".

Page 10:
 - Ref. [25] is not a "CLAS Collaboration" paper. It was signed only by a limited number of folks
   who work on the hardware/software.
 - Ref. [34] is a "CLAS Collaboration" paper.